Off the Page and Into the Kennel
by Blue Euphoria
Summary: When one of Marley's best friend Benji finds a group of abandoned cats and dogs, the last thing she expects is to find out that they are actually the Akatsuki! Join her and her friends' disastrous journey as the caretakers of the Akatsuki. AkatsukiXOCs Rated Teen for cursing
1. Dim Awakenings

**A/N: Newly revamped chapter.**** I owe this first one to Anime-obsessionn because she really helped me kick it off. Thanks~**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I did, the Akatsuki would still be alive to cause mayhem and chaos. *cackles wildly***

* * *

"Where am I?"

Kisame opened his eyes this early morning to reveal an unfamiliar neighborhood. He could only make out the general forms of nine others across the lawn in the dim morning light but he assumed automatically that they were the other unconscious members of the Akatsuki. He shook his head to clear it of any remaining feeling of drowsiness and began to sit up. When he was fully upright, he knew that there was something beyond wrong with the situation at hand. Kisame looked down at himself and let out a surprised yelp, effectively waking up Itachi (the one closest to him) in the process.

His partner, Itachi, glared over at him sleepily with the patented Uchiha Clan Glare. Upon processing the outward appearance of his partner, the man—er, cat rather—became infinitely more aware of his surroundings. "Kisame…"

"I'm a dog!"

"What the fuck are you talking about fish-fuck?!" Oh great, now Hidan was up as well.

"I'm talking about the fact that I have paws and a tail!"

Hidan suddenly looked over at Kisame, laughing his butt off at the sight of the massive shark-dog. "That's just fucking priceless! I want to know who did this to you so I can fucking congratulate them!"

"Hidan shut up!" Kisame barked.

"Yeah right!"

Kisame growled, "I mean it."

"What are you going to fucking do to me? Bite my ankles? You can't fucking do anything to me."

It seemed that Hidan was, as always, being an unaware idiot. Some things never changed, no matter the situation.

"You wouldn't be saying that if you realized that you are a dog too," Itachi's monotonous voice cut in. He had quickly observed that everyone in the Akatsuki had been turned into dogs and cats while Hidan was berating Kisame about being a dog. He had also realized that he couldn't sense his nor anybody else's chakra, meaning the Akatsuki had no chakra for the time being. "Also, I have noticed that none of us has chakra. Therefore, you are most likely not immortal while in your current body, so if I was you, I would shut up before Kisame bites your head off."

Hidan's eyes widened to the size of full moons as he realized that he was, in fact, a large dog. To top that off, he too could not sense any chakra. "Shit! Who did this to us?"

"What are you talking about?" Konan inquired as she woke up. She took a look around at the unfamiliar houses before turning her attention back to the three ninja. Setting her serious gaze on her associates, she did a double take. They were dogs and cats! Konan gained a look of disbelief as she took in this new information. "What happened?"

"We are all fucki—"

"Whoever is talking better shut up now, before I show them the meaning of pain," Pein said in a very malicious voice that made apparent he would go through with that threat. Pein was a not a morning person. "Itachi, give me an analysis of the situation. I can't sense any chakra, and I know it isn't just me who doesn't have it." Pein took a moment to glare at Hidan, who looked like he was about to say something stupid. "And don't you dare undermine me, you are no longer immortal."

"Why is it all of a sudden an option to kill me? I fucking hate this mortal shit," Hidan whispered under his breath, but one glare from Pein, and he knew better than to say anything else.

"We seem to have been turned into animals, two species of animals to be exact. Neither of these species has any form of chakra. We also don't know where we are or how we got here. I suggest—"

Then, in an almost comical fashion, Tobi woke up with a jolt. In a manner that was clearly childish in the way that he spoke in short sentences, "Tobi is a good boy. Tobi _really _wants to run!"

"Why did the idiot have to tag along, un," Deidara complained in a way that wasn't quite a question so much as it was an annoyed observation, his position next to the hyper dog that was Tobi only exasperating this annoyance. The last thing he wanted to wake up to was a hyperactive Tobi. Actually, that's the last thing _anybody_ wants to wake up to.

"Great, I woke up next to the brat's complaining," Sasori said sardonically, from his spot right next to the still complaining Deidara. He and the others (Kakuzu and Zetsu) had woken up with Pein so they were over the initial shock of being animals.

"Hey, Kakuzu, you can't carry any fucking money as a dog. Serves you right you heathen," Hidan commented while laughing evilly at the face his partner made at the realization. Clearly, he had decided that now was the _perfect_ time to berate Kakuzu.

"Shut up, or you will all know pain!" Pein barked at his loud, arguing members. "Itachi now continue, before we have to find new members to replace the freshly dead ones."

"Hn…" Itachi looked away.

_Why that insolent little…_

"Answer me Itachi," Pein seethed, as he was reaching the end of his patience. Obviously, this was not the time for Itachi to act like a brat.

"Leader-sama, we just need to figure out where we are, and how to break the jutsu that made us like this," Kisame said quickly before his partner's head was lobbed off in the leader's rage.

Pein nodded, or at least he did the doggie equivalent. "That's what—"

"What the hell are all these things doing on my front lawn?!"

* * *

**A/N: Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it. Reviews are welcomed warmly~**

**Here's a fun fact for you: Sharks don't get sick! They are the only animal to do so- or is it not to do so?- and are literally immune to all types of disease, including cancer.**


	2. Odd Beginnings

"_I don't care what you think!_"

The distinct voice of Patrick Stump blared out of a rather expensive looking car. Seeing as the windows were down, one could see that the driver was girl in her late teens that had long, light blonde hair; the tips of her hair a rebellious blue-green color. Her pale face was heart-shaped with smaller lips than most. Beneath long bangs, her grey eyes glanced around at the houses of the middle class LA neighborhood. She didn't get to see too many of the middle class homes as she had lived in some form of mansion for the last twelve years. Of course she had once lived in a small two-story house, but it had been so long.

Parking in front of a small green house, she smiled at its cuteness. The house was only one-story tall and was light olive green with white trimmings. Its small, under-watered front yard was sad looking but the blonde knew that in the back was a well-watered garden that her friend was forever tending to. Overall it was too cute.

"Amiga!" Stepping out onto the small front lawn, she was immediately glomped to the ground by a taller girl who was twenty. Her wavy, dark brown hair was cut just above her shoulders (her bangs in an eerily straight line above her eyes) and, if one looked closely, they could see that there was a red tint to her hair. She was tan and quite the Latina.

Compared to the teenager she was hugging, the twenty-year-old had a 'rocker' style in clothing whereas the teen had a 'beach meets punk' style going for her on this bright morning though she didn't always wear the same fashion—she had a _very, very _large closet. Both girls, despite their obvious differences in back round and fashion, had matching nails and rings (the duo wearing the simple silver rings on their right middle finger) as they were best friends.

Moving on, as earlier mentioned the older girl was quite tall and therefore had longer legs and arms than the small teen. This made it easy for her to smother the other girl with hugs.

"Marley," the girl exclaimed in a fittingly medium pitched voice, "you won't believe what Benji found!"

"What did you find Ria? Is it dangerous? Should I be worried about the public's safety?" the blonde teen, Marley, teased in a light airy kind of voice as one would expect from a short blonde like her. Pushing the larger girl, Ria Garcia, off of her, Marley Vogel stood up and brushed off her pants before helping her friend up.

"No it's not dangerous ya' bitch though it may bite…" Ria trailed off while looking towards the backyard with a smirk. Marley's eyes widened considerably.

"Oh my lord, you found another rabid raccoon and you want to take him home again didn't you?! Do you not remember last time?" Marley tried looking into the backyard from where they were in front of the house but it was in vain since the fence blocked out everything. All she could do was listen… and what she heard was unusual to say the least. She listened as loud cursing, yowling, and barking trickled out from the backyard. How had she not heard this before?

Ria just rolled her eyes. "That only happened once."

"It's happened four times!"

"Oops. I swear I thought that last one was a cat. Anyways, you'll love these. Benji told me that he found them on his lawn this morning. You have to see them though. You'll never believe your eyes."

Marley sighed. "I hate to ask this but what did he find exactly?"

"A whole bunch of cats and dogs. I think he said there were ten of them," Ria told her, bringing the petite girl through a small white gate and into the backyard. When they entered the back, Marley had to agree with Ria about never believing her eyes.

"Is that cat… indigo?" Marley asked incredulously as she looked at a truly indigo cat.

"Benji thinks someone dyed them before they got on his lawn. I think it's natural."

Marley turned to look at Ria. "Cats aren't indigo. Ever."

"You can keep saying that but I swear I heard about it happening naturally on the internet."

"Ria…"

"Yes?"

"You are such an idiot."

"Hey!"

Marley rolled her eyes and took a long look around. The aforementioned indigo cat was close looking to a Birman in size and shape but it didn't completely fit the breed description when it came to color. The little female cat had indigo fur and gold eyes after all. Next to the girl cat was an intense Hokkaido dog that had a bright orange coat which was unusual for the breed. The two animals, despite being different species, seemed to be close friends of sorts.

Looking a little bit farther into the yard, Marley spotted a duo of cats in what seemed like an argument. The first cat was most likely a Ragamuffin (an actual cat breed, no lie) but there was no way to tell without getting closer and there was no way Marley was doing that; he/she seemed livid. He/she—Marley wasn't sure what gender the poor cat was— had bright yellow fur and large blue eyes. The other cat was less angry. He was probably a variant of a Burmilla with his red hair and droopy light brown eyes. Marley was half tempted to say that the cat was stoned with the way its eyelids were drooping but decided to wait until later.

Standing close to the gates was a medium sized, _bicolored _cat whose fur was split down the middle; one side white and the other black. He was another orange eyed freak cat with a disturbing coat color. What had happened to these animals!? The freak-cat as Marley dubbed him was trying to hold down a squirming black Chihuahua with an orange face.

_Great_, Marley thought, _an ankle biter_.

In the center of the backyard were two dogs and Benji who was literally arguing with the grey dog out while the other dog put out growls towards the smaller grey dog. The grey dog was a silver tinted grey Husky that had narrowed magenta eyes. He was unusual but not as unusual as the other dog. The dog that growled at the Husky every once in a while as if saying 'shut up' was a rather large brindle Great Dane. His coat appeared to be stitched together and his eyes were green with no pupils; his sclera completely red.

"You low-down fucking dog! I'm going to dig a hole—

"_I'm going to fucking sacrifice you to fucking Jashin!_"

"—fill it with swords—"

"_What will that fucking do? I'm fucking immortal!_"

"—and throw you in it!" Benji yelled. Now this didn't shock the girls who had just entered the backyard. Benji was always getting pissed off so they were used to his random outbursts by now.

Benji Fontaine was a twenty year-old blonde with androgynous facial features and long hair. This had led to Benji being hit on by many guys over the years and him getting arrested for pummeling them. He wore generally comfortable clothes; Benji had never been one to choose fashion over comfort despite being a drama queen. He also had a silver ring on his middle finger like his friends.

"What did the dog even do?" Marley asked; making the infuriated male turn around to look at the two girls in surprise.

"Yeah, you weren't yelling like this when I went to go wait for Marley. What did Dipshit do now?" Margo asked. Apparently Margo had dubbed the Husky Dipshit. Marley wasn't quite sure why but it seemed like a good name for the dog.

"Don't even get me started," Benji said in his trademark dramatic way. Marley shrugged as this was usual with Benji. One moment he would be screaming at something and then the next he was back to being his usual drama geek self.

"_Yeah that's right. You don't wanna fuck with me,_" Hidan said.

"Oh but it's fun to get you started. I want to know…" Marley stopped listening to Ria as she spotted a small patch of black fur from behind Benji. Leaning over just a tad, she found herself looking back at a solid black American longhair. His black eyes continued to stare at her in an unwavering gaze. Trying to look anywhere but the cat, Marley looked to the cat's right…

"Oh my lord he's so cute!" Marley suddenly exclaimed as she pounced on a big, blue fish-like Newfoundland. She had always loved the particular breed. All of her friends said she was a Newfoundland fanatic. It almost certainly came from her Uncle Bobby being a Newfoundland dog breeder. Her love for this dog was also spurred on by him being blue. She loved the color blue. So as she attacked the dog with hugs and little kisses on top of his head she cried out, "You're so adorable and fluffy and BLUE! I just wanna take you home with me."

"_Finally got yourself a fucking girlfriend huh Kisame? It's too bad it's only because she doesn't know how ugly you really are, fish face._" Hidan called out; laughing along with a few of the other members.

Kisame scowled at the other Akatsuki member. "_Hidan… shut up before I claw your eyes out._"

"_I'd like to see you fucking try!"_

"_Don't push it Hidan!" _Kakuzu growled.

"_As if you would fucking stop me."_

The Akatsuki were still clueless as to how they had gotten to this strange world. The last thing any of them remember was going to a meeting in the hideout to talk about the capture of the jinchuuriki.

Pein and Konan sat conversing about possible jutsus that could have caused their predicament while ignoring the rest of them. Zetsu was in charge of controlling Tobi who had the urge to run around but was being held down by Zetsu. Sasori and Deidara had gotten into another one of their art arguments; only stopping briefly to laugh at Kisame before going back to arguing ("Art is a bang, un!"). Hidan had been in an argument with Benji, the male whose lawn they had ended up on, although he had stopped when Benji had started talking to the two girls. He was now laughing at Kisame. Kakuzu had tried to keep his partner in line but gave up after a few minutes. Itachi was standing near Kisame and had been staring stoically at the scene in front of him. Finally, Kisame sat stock still in a more shady part of the lawn with a girl attached to him; only moving to tell Hidan to shut-up. Kisame was obviously not hugged or kissed on the head (no one was quite tall enough to do it to him when he was human) very often so being hugged all of the sudden made him freeze up.

"Marley get off the poor dog. I think you've scarred him for life," Benji said; finding amusement in his friend's love for Newfoundlands.

Marley pouted, "But Sharky loves me."

"_Sharky?_" Kisame growled as the others rolled in laughter. He hated being judged by his appearance.

Benji raised an eyebrow at the animal's laughter before voicing Kisame's unheard question, "Sharky?"

"He looks like a shark."

"True but isn't that name kind of mean to the dog?"

"It's an affectionate kind of mean. Like how Ria greets me by saying bitch. It's not really mean. It just means we love each other very much," Marley explained as she stood up; obviously done with her love-fest. She gained incredulous looks from the animals and Benji while Ria just went over to her with a dumb smile on her face. They had been best friends ever since they had met on a playground when Marley was four and Ria was six. The duo had met Benji during elementary school. Later, when the trio was in middle school, they had met the rest of their group of friends—Juney Harris (June-bug) and Liam Green—in a food fight started over a pudding cup.

"Aw, I love you too Marley!" Ria yelled; lifting her up in a hug and twirling the petite girl in circles.

"_What is wrong with these people?_" Kisame asked.

"_Hell if I know man." _Hidan responded as he watched the three.

Benji looked up at the sky and cried out in a very dramatic voice (even dropping to his knees), "Why, oh why dear lord did you stick me with these two crazies!?"

"You know you love us!" the two girls told him in an almost sickeningly sweet voice as they towered over him.

"Yeah, yeah."

"And you mean Jashin," Marley pointed out with a . Hidan's ears perked up at the name of his god.

"_She fucking knows of Jashin!"_

"_Shut up Hidan! No one cares about your made up god," _Kakuzu snapped.

"_What the fuck did you just say?"_

"_You heard me."_

"_Both of you, stop it." _Pein ordered from his spot near Konan.

"I can't believe you're still on about that."

"Of course I am!"

"Right…"

"Do you have any clue why they were on your lawn?" Marley asked as Ria picked up the hyper Chihuahua. He squirmed in her arms but stopped and began to laugh when she started to tickle his tummy.

"_Pretty lady, why are you tickling Tobi? Tobi is ticklish!"_

"You're such a cute dog!"

Benji glanced over at Margo with an eye roll and a large sigh then turned to reply to Marley. "I originally thought that they were strays but now—"

"Well no shit."

"Shut up Ria!" Benji yelled. He whacked her over the head.

"Ow!" She screamed, incidentally dropping Tobi on Zetsu, who let out a long hiss.

"_**We're going to eat you!**__" _Zetsu screeched as he pounced on Tobi.

"_Tobi is sorry Zetsu!"_

"As I was saying before I was so _rudely _interrupted, I thought they were strays at first but at closer inspection, I realized that someone probably abandoned them."

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, they seem to be well fed and unharmed. If they were strays they would probably be starving and scarred. Some of them look like they had their fur dyed too so I would assume that they were in someone's care at one point," Benji explained in a rather thoughtful tone.

Marley bit her lip as she thought about this. "But why your yard? It seems a bit suspicious… But I guess we'll never know if they truly are abandoned. I do have to comment on their weird fur though. None of them fit the breed description. Not even the ones that are somewhat normal colored. I guess they could be cross breeds but a better guess is that someone dyed all their fur. It's weird."

"Yes. It is weird. Wait… how did you know about the breed descriptions?"

"Remember my crazy Aunt Linda?"

Benji's eyes widened as he nodded. How could he forget? He had gone with Marley to visit her the summer before last and had spent an entire afternoon playing kitty dress-up after Marley had gone out shopping with her cousin May. "That woman scares me."

"She scares everybody," Ria said with a chuckle; deciding to join the conversation. She, of course, knew exactly who Marley's Aunt Linda was as she had lived with Marley for more than four years.

"Aunt Linda isn't that bad."

"She has fourteen cats and an obsession with dolls. Marles, I think she qualifies as creepy," Ria responded; calling Marley by her favorite nickname.

"Don't forget the time she came up to me and rubbed up on me like she was a cat! I almost pissed myself!" Benji exclaimed. Ria and Marley snickered at the memory of seeing it. Benji's eye twitched in annoyance. "It's not funny! I was scared shitless."

"It _so_ is. Any who, the reason I know about the breed descriptions is because she taught me all about animals when I was a tike. Somehow, I never forgot," Marley explained with a grin. "So what are you going to do with all these animals anyways?"

Benji tilted his head in thought. "I hadn't really thought about that. I don't really have room in my house to have all these animals and it would be cruel of me to put them out on the street. I suppose I'm going to have to give them to the animal shelter."

"Don't!" Marley yelled.

"What?"

"If they don't get adopted—which they won't—they'll be killed. They're too cute to die!"

The Akatsuki all turned to look at the girl in shock. Kisame then looked at Pein. _"Leader what are we going to do?"_

"_If they put us in this… animal shelter, then we need to be on our best behavior. We cannot lose a member. In the case that we all get split up, everyone is to escape and find their way back to wherever this 'animal shelter' is,"_ Pein commanded with an air of authority even in his current body.

Benji raised an eyebrow. "Then what am I going to do with them?"

"I could take them in," Marley murmured.

"Oh hell to the no! I am not taking in smelly pets." Ria may have loved the idea of having pets but she was, in no shape or form, a person to take in dirty animals off of the street. The thought of having fleas running rampant throughout the house was not a pleasant thought.

Marley stuck her lip out in an adorable pout and turned on her puppy dog eyes in an attempt to get Ria to agree. Ria tried to look away but found herself unable at the adorable sight. She conjured up thoughts of dying puppies but nothing could quell the need to give in to Marley's puppy eyes.

Finally, after too minutes of grimly looking into Marley's ultimate puppy dog face, Ria's resolve broke. "Fine."

"YOSH!"

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for reading! I promise it won't take me too long to update.**


	3. Time to go or not

**A/N: Finally! I'm updating. It took me a little long than I thought to write this (darn you Olympics) but here it is in all it's fanfiction glory. Please read and review. It would be nice. Seriously.**

**Disclaimer: What would I be doing this if I owned Naruto? I would be busy reviving the Akatsuki!**

* * *

Ria gave a small smile as Marley did an embarrassing dance in her happiness at getting new pets that was complete with fist pumps and hip shaking. All while holding the small cat that was Sasori. Benji rolled his eyes dramatically at the humiliating display and got his Coke off the back porch; silently thanking the lord that no one could see over his high privacy fence. He turned to look back at the two girls. "So are you going to take them home now? I don't want my yard getting torn up any more than it already has. "

"Of course we are. We'll have a naming party later tonight after we get things set up. Benji, you are coming whether you like it or not. We just have to get pet supplies and I need to pick up some stuff from Juney's apartment before I go home," Marley replied; moving towards the pair of still arguing cats. Deciding that the two cats need to be separated before it got physical; she lifted the red cat up. She held the cat out at arm's length so that she didn't get bitten. She quickly realized that A) he was a lot feistier than she thought he would be and that B) the cat was extremely soft. So after an inner debate, Marley decided that she would try to cuddle him despite his feistiness because he was one of the softest kitties ever.

"_Get off me girl,"_ Sasori growled at her. He aimed his claws at her hands but she just shifted him in her arms so that she could hold him without the risk of being clawed to death. Below him, he could hear Deidara snickering at his predicament. _"Shut up, brat."_

"Really? What kind of stuff?"

"Kinky stuff," Marley said with such a straight face that it was hard to tell whether or not she was lying.

Benji choked on the Coke he was drink. "What?!"

"Marley! What about your innocence?" Ria asked.

"Chill out. I just left a few sketch books there last time I visited. So I need to pick those up. In fact, I was supposed to go over there a half an hour ago," Marley commented with a laugh; scratching under the Burmilla's chin and drawing out an unwilling purr from the feline. At the remark about sketch books a certain blonde cat's head perked up.

"_So, she's an artist too?"_ Deidara asked. Leave it to Deidara to ask something obvious.

"_That's what it would seem brat,"_ Sasori deadpanned; still not liking being held by the blonde but having no real choice in the matter.

As if on cue, Marley's phone rang from her jean's pocket. The ringtone had some guy screaming and a cacophony of drums in the background. This scared the hell out of the Akatsuki, who had never heard this type of… music before. She struggled to her keep grasp on the red cat as she fished it out of her pocket. With a slight noise of triumph, Marley pulled her Blackberry out of her pants pocket and held it up to her ear without even looking at the caller Id. She already knew it was Juney. "Hey Juney."

"_Holy shit! What the fuck is that thing?"_ Hidan asked after he had gotten over the initial shock of the noise from her pocket. The others were equally as shocked by the strange device and sounds. Many of them, though they would never admit to it because of their massive egos, had mini heart attacks at the device.

"_You bitch."_ The two short words were heard throughout the yard. Marley had always been too lazy to turn on her speaker phone when she needed to—she could never find the button in time—so she just kept the volume on high. This had successfully annoyed the shit out of her small group of friends numerous times before and this time was no different. Benji's eye twitched while Ria narrowed her eyes at the younger girl.

Marley giggled. "I take it you aren't too happy with me."

"_What was your first clue?"_ Juney asked rhetorically. _"You told me you would be here at noon! It's now 12:34 and surprise, surprise, you aren't here. I should have fucking known. Let me guess. You have been at home in your pajamas while I've been sitting waiting for you to show up to get your damned sketch books! I have things to do too you know. I missed a study session at the library so I could wait for your sorry ass. I don't have the time of day to waste on waiting for you!"_

"_It seems to be some kind of communication device used here," _Pein observed. His subordinates quirked their eyebrows inquisitively at his statement. Some of the smarter members mulled over this while the dumber ones only pretended to think about it.

"Mellow out, June-bug," Marley soothed in a soft voice. She was seemingly unaffected by the long rant her friend had produced except for the tiny frown she was now sporting on her face.

Behind her, Ria was bent over with her hands on her knees from the force of her laughter at a mental picture that hand crossed her mind. Somehow, in the course of Juney's rant, she had thought of Juney pacing around with her eye twitching as she often did when she got really pissed. In a weird way it reminded her of a bunny and, as her train of thought continued, she pictured the ticked off brunette wearing a pink bunny suit. She just lost it after that.

As for Benji, he took one look at the laughing girl and burst out laughing himself; nearly pissing himself in the process. He didn't honestly know what she was laughing at but one look at her red face as she laughed was all it took to set him off too.

Kisame looked at the two laughing young adults with a questioning look._ "What are they laughing at?"_

"_Who knows, un?"_ Deidara responded; watching the scene in front of him. The two young adults were now holding onto each other for support as they laughed. The others in the Akatsuki were watching the girl and boy in interest as they tried to figure out what exactly was wrong with the people in this world.

"_I will not 'mellow out' you bitch! You—"_

"I'm sorry I'm late. You can blame it entirely on Ria," Marley elucidated, "She's the one who told me I had to go to Benji's house for something important."

"…_Oh really?"_

Marley went through the backyard gate to get away from her _still_ laughing friends. "Yeah."

"_And what was so important that you decided to completely ditch coming to my house to pick up your sketch books?" _Juney inquired after a long pause in a considerably calmer voice. Marley knew this voice. It was the same one she used when she knew (or thought she knew) you were lying and was just waiting for you to lie. She could just imagine her now with her hands on her hips and her lips in a tight line. It was almost an identical tone to the one a mother would use before scolding her child. It really showed just how much of a mother she acted like to her small group of friends. See, ever since Marley had met her, Juney had had the natural instinct to mother everyone. But then again, she also had a scary temper. Both of these traits combined into one terrifying person on a bad day. And this was a bad day if there ever was one. Luck for Marley, she wasn't lying about being at Benji's home.

"Well, after Benji woke up this morning he apparently found a large group of cats and dogs on his front lawn. They appeared to be strays so he took them into his backyard to figure out what to do. Now if you remember what I told you when you called me this morning, you obviously know that Ria was supposed to come to his house to hang out—"

Juney, getting fed-up with the already longwinded explanation (she was crazy impatient when she was mad), interjected, _"What does this have to do with you?"_

"You see, these animals are very odd colored."

"_How odd?"_

"There's a cat with indigo fur."

"_What?!"_

"That was my first reaction too but it's completely true. Benji and I think that they have all had their fur dyed recently and were abandoned by their owner on his lawn. Back to how I'm involve. Ria found them to be very strange colored so she called me. Now before you say I could have gone to your house before coming here, Ria did say that if I didn't come right away, she would try cooking in my kitchen again. You know what happened last time she did that so it was a very valid threat. I figured I would check it out quickly and go to your apartment soon after because it's on the way anyways. It just ended up that it took longer than expected. Oh, and I have new pets," explained the ever-so-calm teenager.

"_Where did they come from?"_ Juney began to grill Marley to see if she was lying. If she paused before answering, there was more of a chance that all of this was an elaborate fib. If not, Juney had not a clue of what to make of this odd occurrence. Then again, there had been quite a few other times when she had had strange experiences with her best friends.

"I don't know."

"_How many are there?"_

"Ten."

"_You're willing to take in ten strange colored pets?" _

"Yes. The only other option for them is to go to the animal shelter and I have made it very clear how much I dislike the way the animal shelter operates. Anything else?"

A long sigh was heard over the phone. In a much quieter voice than what she had used previously in the phone call, Juney commented, _"This is either one of the most creative lies you've come up with as of yet or one of the most random occurrences this month. I can't tell which one it is."_

Marley was back to grinning again; her expression doing a complete 180 degrees from its previous expression. She knew that Juney had finally calmed down and that she had just increased her chances of living to see twenty considerably.

Believe it or not, this was a rather rare occurrence as Marley tended to avoid upsetting Juney because she knew how bad her temper could get. She was as tough as nails and could kick just about anyone's ass down the street and back again if she was angry enough. This meant that Juney would be more than willing to start an all-out brawl, and since Marley had always been a lover, not a fighter, she felt it was best not to upset her violent best friend. Don't let this fool you though. Marley still found it incredibly fun to tease and embarrass her dear friend. She just knew when to stop.

"I promise I'm not lying," Marley replied. "We're having a naming party after we bring them home so you're coming to my house later. Wait, no. Scratch that. I'll pick you up when I come to pick up my sketch books. I would hate to waste gas when I can just pick you up and carpool."

"_I have no say in this do I?" _Juney asked. She was irritated but she was almost always irritated so it wasn't a real worry.

"Nope. I'll be there soon so be dressed or I'll drag you out naked and give your neighbors a show," Marley told her in an overly sweet voice. She hung up almost immediately after saying this; leaving absolutely no room for Juney to retort. With a grin on her face, Marley walked back into the backyard whilst carrying the small red cat that she had almost forgotten was there.

Ria and Benji were sprawled out on the ground being lazy while they waited for her to get done with her phone call. The Chihuahua was still running around like a maniac as his freaky cat friend tried to stop him. The blonde cat was sitting in a corner seemingly trading insults with the Husky. The two larger dogs were sitting close by two arguing with mildly interested looks. Marley looked for the last three of her new pets and found them sitting in a small circle under the tree.

Ria lifted up her head slightly in a half-assed attempt at looking at her best friend. "How did the phone call go?"

"Is she still pissed off?" Benji asked.

Marley scoffed. "No, I calmed her down with my awesome skills and explained what happened. I'm picking her up after I pick up Liam."

"Since when are you picking up Liam?" Ria inquired; a completely confused look on her face.

Marley walked over and plopped down beside her friends with the cat ending up in her lap. Petting the red cat softly, Marley cheerily responded, "I figured that if I was going to pick up Juney, I might as well just pick him up. It's on the way at least. Besides, Liam is going to have to come anyways so I might as well save him the effort of driving."

"Does he even know you're coming?" Benji looked over at her through his barely cracked eyes. He already knew the answer since he had known her for years but he decided to just go along with it.

"No," she admitted bashfully. Ria laughed a bit but groaned. Her ribs were still hurting from her last laughing attack. "What's wrong with you?"

"She had a laughing attack and got me laughing with her for, like, no reason."

"There was a reason!" Ria shouted indignantly.

"Was it air?" Benji asked with a smirk. Marley burst out in a giggling fit at the mention of the time when Ria had literally been laughing at the air around her. No lie. She did that. It's the reason why she isn't even allowed near pixie sticks anymore.

Ria sat up enough to push Marley to the ground which effectively set Sasori free, saying, "No! I imagined Juney wearing a pink bunny suit!"

There was a small pause before everyone started laughing again. By some sort of miracle, Benji managed to get out, "That would be hilarious!"

"I know right?" Ria had stopped laughing to try to stop the pain in her ribs while her friends just continued to laugh like the freaks they were.

"Totally," Benji agreed after he had gotten ahold of himself.

Marley sighed. "She would murder the world before she would wear it though."

"We could get her drunk," Ria suggested.

"Oo~ I want to try it then. Maybe we'll actually succeed in tricking her into wearing it," Marley said; her face lighting up once again.

"I call dibs on the blackmail pictures," Ria announced immediately. She wasn't about to let her one chance at blackmail on Juney go to Marley or Benji. So she called dibs on it. It had become kind of infamous among their group members to call dibs on everything. Even blackmail pictures.

"Darn it!" Marley and Benji yelled in unison.

"This is going to be great." Ria smirked at the plans she was already forming in her head. Juney was going to be so pissed if they pulled this off.

There was a moment of comfortable silence in between the three marred only by the sounds of the girls' new pets but like all good things, it came to an end when Marley looked at her phone for the time. "Shit. I need to go. I told Juney I would be there soon."

"Yeah we both should probably get going," Ria agreed with a sigh. They all got up and stretched; Marley returning the cat to her arms. Boy did he look pissed at being there again."So who is taking which animals?"

"Well I drove the Aston Martin today so there is no way I'll be able to cram them all in there."

"And I can't fit them all in my truck."

"_What the fuck is a truck?"_ Guess who asked that one.

"Hm… I'll take two and you can take the rest. Problem solved," Marley said after thinking it over for a moment.

Benji looked at Marley. "I can't believe you think you'll actually get away with keeping all these animals at your house, Marles. What will your dad say when he gets home?"

"He left for another business trip to Japan a few days ago so he won't _need_ to know about them for another couple months so I have time to come up with a relatively good excuse."

"_Where is Japan?"_ Kakuzu queried.

Hidan turned to look at his partner. _"How the fuck should I know?"_

"_I wasn't asking you, idiot!"_ Kakuzu roared as he launched himself at the other Akatsuki member; his short fuse lit.

"_Bring it you old fucker!"_ They both started to roll around fighting.

"_Would you to stop fighting for once? We'll find out where it is when we figure out how to get back into our human forms!"_ Pein barked; separating the two from each other. One withering glare from him was enough to make them put their tails between their legs.

"_Speaking of that, have any clue as to what we could do to get back to our human forms?" _Sasori asked from Marley's arms.

"_Not at the moment. Itachi, have you thought of any jutsus yet?"_

"_Hn,"_ the young prodigy said in the trademark Uchiha way.

"_**Well he's no help.**__ Maybe he's still thinking of something. __**Yeah right.**__**He has nothing. He just can't admit it. **__Well we shouldn't rely on the youngest member here,"_ Zetsu fought with himself.

"_Tobi get away from me!"_ Deidara shouted; successfully interrupting the retort Itachi was about to say. Tobi had been trying to get the blonde to play with him for the past few minutes but all he managed to do was upset Deidara farther. The poor blonde was already somewhat traumatized from becoming a cat—the shock had finally hit an hour after being found by Benji—and he didn't need Tobi to test his mental limit any more than it already had been today. Finally, Deidara's temper flared and he tried swatting the Chihuahua.

"_But Deidara-senpai!"_ Tobi whined.

"_Get away!"_ Deidara hissed. His ears were pressed against his head as he batted at his annoyance. The rest of the Akatsuki continued their arguments over everything. This was one of the only normal things that had happened today.

While the members of the Akatsuki talked (and fought), the three young adults watched the human-like animals from a distance. After a small moment of silence between the humans (one filled with yowling, hisses, barks, and growls from the dogs and cats), Marley asked, "What do you think they're talking about?"

"Who knows?" was the vague reply via Ria.

"So when are you guys leaving?"

Ria looked over and sarcastically said, "I really feel the love Benji."

"I just want to know when I'm getting these nut jobs out of my backyard. It has nothing to do with you I swear."

"Yeah right. Well my lovelies, I must go kidnap Liam and June-bug from the wrath that is reality. See you later," Marley told her two friends. This time she actually meant it. She waved goodbye to them—telling Ria not to take too long at the pet store since she always took a million years to shop—and tapped the Newfoundland with foot. "Hey Sharky. Wanna get away from these idiots and come with red kitty and me? I'll even put down the window so you can stick your head out while we drive."

Kisame looked over at the rest of the Akatsuki, who had yet to take notice to the group of friends' conversation because they were so wrapped up in figuring out how to get back to their human forms, and shrugged.

Marley took that as a 'yes'. "Alright, follow me Sharky."

The petite girl unlatched the gate and walked out with the two strays. As they caught up to the girl, they noticed a nicer version of what they had heard Benji refer to as a 'car'. Marley caught the red cat and Sharky gawking at her Aston Martin, "Isn't it nice? My dad got it for me a couple of years ago. My mom decided to try and one up him so she got me a 2009 Ferrari 612 Scaglietti. Both are pretty sweet but I prefer this one. Ferraris aren't really my style."

"_What's a 'Ferrari'?"_ Kisame pondered out loud.

"_Probably one of the things that they call 'cars',"_ Sasori replied monotonously while the girl placed him gently on the armrest. He stood in unease as he looked around the interior of the car.

"Alright Sharky, get in," Marley commanded, making a motion towards the car. When it became clear he wasn't going to get in the car willingly, the blonde rolled her eyes and said, "I'm going to leave you here if you don't."

Kisame took one look towards the house before jumping onto the passenger seat. It couldn't be too bad right? Marley jumped into the driver's seat and started her baby up. Both Sasori and Kisame, just about had seizures when the car roared to life.

"Chill out. The car isn't going to kill you," Marley said with a small smirk. She reached out to give them each a scratch on the head before turning on the radio—catching Black Key's 'Lonely Boy' mid-song—and driving off towards Juney's apartment.

Kisame's face was literally pressed up against the window (Marley had forgotten to roll it down for him) as he gaped at all the new technology in this world. It was so unlike what he was accustomed to. Sasori's reaction to his new surroundings was much the same but instead of taking in the new technology, he was taking in all the different architecture.

Marley smiled. Man was Juney going to be mad. She had managed to waste another half an hour at Benji's house and she still had to pick up Liam before picking her up.

* * *

"_Hey, where did Kisame and Sasori go, un?"_ Deidara asked out of the blue.

Pein blinked in surprise, realizing he had no idea where his own subordinates went. _"I don't know. Itachi, do you know where your partner went?"_

"_No,"_ Itachi replied. The other members looked around.

"_Where the fuck did those bitches go?"_

"_Kisame and Sasori left with the blonde girl five minutes ago. __**You guys were arguing too much to notice.**__"_

Ria spoke before anyone could respond to Zetsu, "Alright troops, let's get in the truck."

"Great. You're finally leaving."

"Yeah, yeah. You can go watch your glorious _Glee_ marathon now," Ria remarked, rolling her eyes at the mention of _Glee_. Oh how she hated that show.

"_Glee_ is amazing. You are just jealous."

"No, I'm Ria but I met Just Jealous last week. I'll tell him you said hi." Ria scooped up Itachi, Zetsu, Deidara and Konan up into her arms all whilst herding the 'dogs' out of the gate.

Benji frowned at her sarcasm as he trailed after her. "No need to be mean."

"I'm not the mean one. That has always been Juney and you know it." The Latina threw the cats in her arms into the passenger seat; eliciting a hiss from Deidara at being thrown down.

"_If I had my clay I would make you explode!"_

"_It's no wonder why Sasori can't stand you half the time, you are so annoying,"_ Kakuzu remarked from his position outside of the truck.

"_What did you just say?"_ Deidara's fur bristled in anger.

"_Are you hard of hearing? And all this time I thought I was the old one here,"_ Kakuzu said while Hidan laughed. If it weren't for Margo slamming a door in his face, Deidara would have launched himself at the other Akatsuki member.

"So you say. I think June-bug is just a bit grumpy. You on the other hand are completely sarcastic."

Ria picked up Tobi (_"Tobi is a good boy!"_) and put him in the backseat saying, "You know what they say: 'sarcasm is a body's natural defense against stupidity'. I'm just going along with my instincts."

"Whatever you say. See you tonight," Benji said as he entered the confines of his house.

The brunette pulled another eye roll. She turned to the three dogs that remained on the lawn, "Get in or I'm taking your friends and leaving you guys here to fend for yourselves."

"_Fuck you!"_ Hidan barked at her.

Kakuzu just sighed at his partner's stupidity while their leader ordered him to get in. All three eventually got into the backseat. Ria shut the door behind them and walked around to the driver's seat. Without any hesitation, the brunette started the car up (which startled the cats and dogs) and drove off.


	4. Author's Note!

It's been quite awhile since I last updated and for that I apologize. I'm guessing that you thought I either:

A.) Died and went to... somewhere

B.) Disappeared from the web completely

or C.) Abandoned my fanfiction account like a bad parent in a grocery store

I am pleased to announce that it is only two of these things. My internet (bless its little soul) is shoty at best and I have had issues in the past updating anything whether it be on Fanfiction or the other various sites I frequent. My work over the past year is currently sitting in a file on my computer and shall be duly posted within the next few months due to a new internet source. The other reason is that I have had no time between school, extracurriculars, and practices, and therefore my account has been sitting idle in an unofficial hiatus.

Now on to the main topic, I'm happy to announce that Off the Page and Into the Kennel is going to get revamped soon, very soon in fact. Looking back, I realized that the style in which I wrote the thing is very poor and therefore needs to be changed. The current chapters may be changed around but the general gist of the beginning will be very much the same.

Thank you for being understanding!


End file.
